Well, we've always loved to knock a cricket ball around. Kev's Sunday barbecues at the Secret Green over the last few years convinced some of us that it would be fun to start a team of our own and, after much discussion and whipping-round for kit, here we are.
If we're honest, none of us are very good. We just think that sunny Sunday afternoons in the English summer are completely wasted without the crack of leather on willow - or, in our case, leather on stumps. We don't even pretend to be proper cricketers, even though we might dress as if we are. If we'd been good enough, we'd have joined teams individually, but the only way we could ever have got a game was by forming our own club. So here we are, and there's no better feeling than to have a club consisting totally of friends and family.
Ah, the ringer. The fella who had trials for Somerset and nearly played for Devon once and pops up in the friendly team's middle order to have a swing and give the score a measure of respectability.
We don't have one, we don't want one, and don't need one.
We set this team up for a bit of a laugh. All of us enjoy a game of cricket, but either aren't good enough or don't have the time (or both) to play regularly. Most of our players had never even played a proper match before turning out for us. Hell, our opening bowler even had to be asked to appeal for a plumb lbw by an umpire. We like it that way; we'd prefer to give everyone a game, regardless of ability, than ask players someone once met in a pub to turn out for us. It's a much better feeling, in fact, to watch someone score his first-ever run than it could ever be to watch a ringer score a fifty. We want to become better players ourselves, not bring people to shore up the team.
So you may watch us and think 'ok, they can't be that bad. Where's the ringer?' The answer is we don't have one, and we never will.
Our cod Latin motto, Inefficax fidens, means 'nobly incompetent'. We're working on the incompetence, though it's like trying to create the Venus de Milo out of sand, but we'll always be noble.
That means that we will always play with full respect for the traditions and spirit of the game. If we think we're out, we'll walk. We'll clap opposing batsmen in and applaud people who play well against us. We won't appeal for grounded catches. Anyone who doesn't play for us with a Cavalier spirit doesn't play for us, simple as that.
Every match we play has an appointed charity, chosen by our club president, and all players are expected to contribute a small amount to the kitty after the game. Charities we choose are non-political and will usually be local rather than national, because we feel we can make more of a difference this way. If opposition players wish to chip in, then that is fantastic, but it is by no means compulsory.
In addition, we have an online donations page at Justgiving, where you can make a donation to Cricket Without Boundaries. This is a wonderful charity that not only spreads the good word of the game around the world, but also works with victims of AIDS in the third world. Please feel free to make a donation there to support their work.
Finally, all players who are out first ball are encouraged to join the Primary Club, which funds sports projects for the blind and visually impaired across the UK.
Our exploits have been recorded a number of times on the wider web:
Through the pen of the mysterious Skankyrich, the Cavaliers have featured in a few articles on h2g2, the part of the BBC set up by Douglas Adams as a guide to Life, the Universe and Everything:
To help pay for new kit, regular players are enouraged to become official Cavaliers by parting with a crisp twenty pound note every year or so. This doesn't mean you have to be a member to play, of course, but the money is helpful - in 2007, before we even had a club, the whip-round paid for our pads and gloves, and in 2008 we got proper, embroidered shirts and caps to really look the part. In addition, all players, members or not, are expected to chip in for any ground fees and a small donation to the match charity.